Silver & Gold Page 12

  “Arms above your head. Wrap them around the tree. No touching.”

  I obliged.

  Benji slapped his shaft against my cheek and then smeared precum along my lips. “Suck it.”

  Not needing to be told twice, I opened to tongue his slit before sucking him deep. My hands struggled to find purchase on the rough bark. The wood was buried in the flesh of my back as Benji pressed me hard against the tree. My thighs ached, spread wide around the trunk, and I winced as a root knot dug into my knee. The scent and flavor of Benji filled me as his bitter saltiness alighted my tongue and my nose nudged the base of his dick, his neatly trimmed hair tickling as I attempted to breathe without gagging on his fat cock.

  “Gonna come and you’re gonna take it, swallow every drop, lick my cock clean.” Benji continued the punishing pace, his shaft bumping the back of my throat until tears leaked from my eyes, one hand fisted in my hair and pulling hard. “You want my load?” He paused and angled my head to look up.

  I nodded, imagining what a picture we made. My lips stretched wide around his cock while he fucked my mouth against a tree, saliva dripping from my chin, his fist gripping my hair. The image was erotic as fuck and I blinked while waiting for Benji to give me what I wanted.

  “Swallow me,” he demanded and his cock pulsed ribbons of cum on my tongue. I swallowed and immediately wanted more.

  Benji pulled from my mouth. “Lick me clean.”

  I cleaned him thoroughly. With my legs beginning to shake, I shifted in hopes of standing. Benji assisted me to stand and pulled me into a warm, protective embrace.

  “That was fucking amazing, sorry if it was too rough or too much,” he whispered against my ear and held me tight. “Not sure what came over me, but you were so good.”

  I trembled and allowed Benji to hold me. “It was good, I liked it.” The pain, the submission, the roughness in his actions, everything had turned me on and made me want more.

  We held each quietly for several moments, reveling in the closeness and coming back to our senses.

  “You want to ride a horse?” Benji asked.

  I snorted. “The way you just had me basically reverse cowgirling that tree, I’m not sure my legs can take it.” I narrowed my eyes. “And are we talking a real horse or sex?”

  Benji kissed me. “While I love the thought of you riding my horse cock,” he paused and we both laughed, “I actually meant real horseback riding.”

  “I’ve never ridden one.” I grimaced. “I’m a little leery of their size.”

  “Nah, they’re huge and powerful, but they won’t hurt you if you know what you’re doing.” Benji picked up our walking sticks and handed one to me before taking my hand and starting back the way we’d come.

  “And you know what you’re doing?” I was skeptical.

  “I do.”

  “How?”

  “I’m not just a handsome artist, I grew up on a sprawling farm with horses. Family still has some. Tomorrow, we ride.” He bumped me with his hip. “But maybe tonight I do my own reverse cowgirl so we have the same sore muscles.”

  “I’m down.”

  Benji’s back glistened with sweat as he took my cock, his body opening wide for my invasion. My hands on his hips, thumbs pressing into his round ass cheeks, the muscles of his spread thighs stretched as he straddled me, all of it would forever be burned into my head as one of the sexiest images of all time.

  Later, as we cuddled in each other’s arms, I whispered gruffly, trying to stamp down the emotions coursing through me, “Thank you for being you, for loving me, for helping me learn to take things in stride.” I kissed him, our tongues making love slowly.

  “We may not be perfect, but I kinda love being imperfect with you.” Benji nuzzled my chest.

  “Okay, so Snickerdoodle is the calmest, most laid back, easiest horse you’ll ever ride.” Benji walked ahead of me into the horse barn on his family’s property. “I’ll show you how to saddle her and we’ll ride a couple trails.”

  “My legs are so sore from straddling that damn tree, I’m not sure I can spread them far enough to ride a horse.” I was seriously probably walking bow-legged.

  “First, face fucking you with your back pressed against that tree was damn hot and definitely on my list of repeats, and you can’t deny it was totally worth the pain.” Benji slapped my ass. “Second, you might not be as wide as the trunk of that tree, but straddling you and taking your dick so hard wasn’t exactly comfortable, but you don’t see me complaining. It was a good pain.”

  “It hurt, but it hurt so good,” I teased.

  “Exactly, now let’s saddle up.”

  Benji showed me how to saddle Snickerdoodle and then had me help saddle his horse, Poncho. He showed me how to mount up, then reversed his movements to dismount and came over to assist me.

  “Isn’t the saddle going to fall off when I try to pull up on her?”

  “Not if it’s on right. Now, put your left foot in the stirrup. Push up, lift yourself, and swing your right leg over.”

  I did as instructed and actually ended up seated on the horse.

  “Excellent.” Benji swung up on Poncho and sidled next to me. He showed me how to use the reins to direct Snickerdoodle. “She’s used to riders and very familiar with the trail, likely won’t need much direction.” He took the lead and we headed out of the barn. “We won’t ride more than an hour. We’re both sore already, no reason to add saddle sore to the pain.”

  Benji acted as tour guide as we traveled the gorgeous property, showing me places where he and Kyson and Bode used to play. A pond, a creek, a barn, an open pasture.

  “Wow, I can’t imagine so much time outside for one. And I can’t imagine what it would be like to have built-in friends to play with. My parents, and then my sister, had me involved in a lot of activities and clubs, but I didn’t have a lot of opportunity to play outside. We spent time outside, but it was to walk to a lesson, walk to a club activity, structured play at a park. Not sure if I’d even know how to just play outside without structure.” I listened to my words and wondered for the first time if maybe my lack of unstructured play as a child had anything to do with being unable to flow with change, accept when things didn’t go as planned, and deal with imperfections when they affected me personally. “You know, I’m thinking that I have a lot of issues,” I said after my stretch of thought-filled silence.

  “We’ll learn and tackle our issues together.” Benji winked. He stopped Poncho next to a burbling creek.

  Snickerdoodle followed suit. Pretty sure she would have toured me around the property and back to the barn without a single shift of the reins on my part.

  Benji climbed off Poncho. “Pit stop, we’re going to play for a bit.”

  I raised my brows, not exactly sure what he meant, but I got off Snickerdoodle and took his hand. “What’s up?”

  “One of my very favorite things to do as a kid was wade in the creek.” Benji slipped off his shoes and peeled off his socks before rolling up his pant legs.

  I wrinkled my nose. “But it’s muddy, and aren’t there like crabs and snakes and worms?”

  “Crabs, no. Crawdads, or crawfish, maybe. Snakes, not likely in the water. Worms, not in the water. Maybe some minnows. The bottom is muddy, but there are also a lot of rocks to walk on. We’ll stay on those for now if you want.” He pulled me close and kissed me. “But I promise a little mud won’t hurt you.”

  I removed my shoes and socks. I hated the scratch of grass on my feet. After rolling up my pant legs, I watched Benji.

  He waded into the creek. “Damn, that’s cold.”

  “Ringing endorsement. How ‘bout I just stay here while you have your fun?”

  Benji gestured for me to join him.

  I waded in slowly and the icy water took my breath away.

  “When you walk on the flat rocks, be careful because they can be slick.”

  Benji’s words were no sooner out of his mouth than I stepped on a slick, flat rock, my foot
slipped, and I landed on my ass with cold water up to my waist. “Fuck,” I gasped.

  Benji was at my side within two seconds. “Shit, are you okay?”

  “My ass hurts, I’m cold, and my pride is wounded, but I’m okay.” I let Benji pull me to my feet.

  “Can you hold your shoes and socks? I’ll have you ride on Poncho with me and lead Snickerdoodle.” Benji glanced between the two horses. “Since you’re so wet, it’s better that you don’t soak your shoes too.”

  Within a couple minutes, we were situated on Poncho with Snickerdoodle in tow. “You’ll be as wet as me soon,” I said as my wet jeans plastered against Benji’s thighs.

  “Good thing about wet clothes is they dry. We’ll be a little uncomfortable, but we’ll survive.” Benji clicked and maneuvered the reins to direct Poncho back to the barn. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, just sore and embarrassed. I hate being wet like this.” I was mad at myself for ruining Benji’s play time in the creek, but I was also feeling more than prickly at being soaked and cold.

  As we rode from the sprawling pasture to the horse barn, Benji tensed. “Fuck,” he muttered.

  “What’s wrong?” My heart fluttered. Benji was my calm, my anchor. If he was upset, I knew something was wrong.

  “Porn Brother numero uno. Guess you’ll be meeting the infamous Dick Silver.” Benji gave a slight gesture toward the barn.

  I glanced around him to see a man standing by the fence. He maybe was attractive in his younger years, but he didn’t appear to be aging well. How he fathered men as attractive as Bode and Benji was beyond me. Perhaps I was already biased, but I didn’t like him and wrinkled my nose. “Can’t we just ignore him and leave? I’m wet, cold, and sore. I don’t want to talk to your asshole dad.” Anxiety kicked in. I hated to sound like a whiney brat, but I didn’t want to deal with drama. Turning my back, walking away, hiding was easier.

  “We won’t stay long. But we have to brush the horses, put away the tack, give them some water and food. He can talk until his little heart is content while we do that, then we’re out of here.” Benji reached back and squeezed my knee.

  The gesture should have brought comfort, but in my uncomfortable, stressed state it just made me feel closed in, itchy, and breathless.

  Benji led the horses past Dick and straight into the barn.

  By the time we’d reached the ground, Benji’s dad had sauntered in and was standing with a smarmy grin.

  “Well, howdy,” he said in a fake country drawl. “Didn’t know you were bringing a friend to the property. Thought you were just soiling the cabin.”

  I immediately bristled and my breathing became uneven. I did not want to deal with drama.

  “Don’t be rude,” Benji snapped. “Cabin was great. Wanted to show Rhys the property and take him horseback riding. Heading home in just a bit. Rhys, my dad Dick Silver. Dad, my boyfriend and business partner, Rhys Golden.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. I knew it was rude, but I had no desire to shake the man’s hand. “Nice to meet you,” I lied through my teeth. “I’d shake, but I’m a bit wet and dirty.”

  Dick scrunched up his face. “Same. Pretty sure I don’t even want to know why you’re soaked through.” He turned his attention to Benji. “So, you went ahead with that damn studio screw-up? Mark my words, it’s a mistake.”

  “Didn’t ask for your opinion. The Silver and Gold Creative is open and doing well. Thanks for asking.” Benji removed Snickerdoodle’s saddle.

  “Should have sued or moved to a better place. Gonna come back and bite you in the ass.” Dick waved a hand in the air. “Art studio is a risk in itself. Probably can’t sell enough to pay the lease and make a living.” The man glanced my way. “And when the love connection comes to an end, what then? How’s that going to work? Just about as bad at business as your damn brother. Just waiting for when he has to come crawling back with his tail tucked between his legs to admit he failed and needs my money.”

  “The Silver and Gold Creative is thriving. Our relationship is none of your business.” Benji hefted the second saddle from Poncho. “And Bode is an amazing businessman. The Salty Lizard is doing great. We all are. No thanks to our upbringing.” He finished putting away the horse supplies and wiping down the animals. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to hit the road.”

  Dick huffed.

  “Pleasure as always, Dad.” Benji tipped an imaginary hat, took my hand, and led me to the car.

  I could barely breathe when we reached the car. My teeth chattered, my heart nearly pounded out of my chest, and I worried I was going to puke.

  Without a word, Benji dug in my bag for a change of clothes. “You feel okay? Hurt anywhere?”

  “Nah, mostly just my pride at this point. Maybe a little bruised and stiff tomorrow, but I’ll live.”

  Benji nodded and tossed me the clothes. “Change into these dry ones. Throw your wet stuff in the trunk.”

  Hiding behind the car, I stripped out of my wet pants and underwear and quickly pulled on the dry ones. Once I’d changed my shirt and put my socks and shoes back on, I tossed everything in the trunk and silently got in the vehicle.

  About five minutes into the drive, Benji glanced my way. “Sorry about that. You okay? I’m kinda getting the vibe that you’re freaking out and I’m not sure how to handle that.”

  I shook my head. “I just really don’t know that I can deal with that type of drama. The rudeness, the hatefulness, the nastiness. I love you, but the thought of that type of interaction every time we’re around your family makes me sick.” I ran a hand over my face. “How does your mom deal with that?”

  Benji was quiet for several beats. “My mom and my aunt are best friends. I’m not saying I think it’s right, but I think they stay with Dick and Rod for the financial stability. They love their children, they have money to do whatever they’d like, they volunteer and donate to charities, they have each other. They tolerate their husbands because they’re used to a certain lifestyle. I try not to judge.” He glanced my way again and took a deep breath. “Only you can decide if you can stay with me knowing that Dick and Rod are part of my life. But I’d like to ask that you evaluate what exactly Dick’s presence and his behavior affected. It was annoying, but we’re grown men and his words can’t harm us. I swat him away like a damn mosquito and I choose not to spend much time with him at all. Dick has no bearing on my life. He doesn’t change that I love you. He doesn’t change that I’m happy with my studio and my relationship and my life. Dick Silver has no control over my life. I see him a couple times a year. I don’t let him bait me or talk down to me. I defend Bode and Kyson when it’s called for. Beyond that, I enjoy my mom and my aunt, spend time with them as much as I can, and allow my mom to spend Dick’s hard-earned money on me when she feels like it.” He took my hand and squeezed. “But I can’t force you to be with me and part of my family if that’s going to be too much for you. While I want nothing more than you to stand by me and deal with the good and the bad, I won’t force you.”

  I nodded, pulled my hand from his, and turned to face the window. “I need some time to think.” We rode the rest of the way in silence. My heart wanted to tell Benji that his family drama wouldn’t be an issue for me, but my head couldn’t wrap around the thought of facing that type of crazy, dramatic chaos even if just a couple times a year.

  When Benji dropped me off, he walked me to my door. “I’ll give you a day or so. I love you and I want to make this work, but the ball’s in your court.” He kissed me and walked away.

  I texted Caroline the moment I walked into my apartment.

  An hour later, she was at my door. She shoved a large album-type book into my hands as she breezed past me. “This is something I should have shared with you long ago. I was selfish in keeping it all to myself, but I see now that you need it more than ever.”

  15

  Benji

  “Can I come in?” A disheveled Rhys stood at my door two days later.

  W
as this it? Had he made up his mind and he was coming to end things with me? I’d missed him like crazy at the studio the last two days and my stomach clenched to think how our working relationship would change if we broke up. Would we go back to the way it had been when we were at each other’s throats and disagreeing about everything?

  I stepped back and allowed him to walk in. He carried a large book and plopped it on the coffee table when he entered the living room.

  “Where’s everybody?” Rhys glanced around the apartment.

  “Sage is at school, Bode doing inventory, Kyson at the office.” I gestured toward the kitchen. “You want coffee, tea, juice, soda?”

  Rhys closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms.

  I melted at his touch.

  A hug was a good sign? Or was it a goodbye hug?

  “Tea would be good. This could be a long conversation.” Rhys spoke into my neck as he continued to hug me.

  I swallowed thickly, still unsure of what he was here to say.

  By the time I brought two steaming mugs of tea into the living room, Rhys was seated on the couch with the book on his lap. I paused, trying to decide where it would be best for me to sit.

  Rhys shifted and made room for me next to him and I let loose a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.

  We sipped our tea. Rhys gestured for me to sit closer. He took my hand and caressed my thumb for several seconds before speaking. “If you’ll have me, this isn’t goodbye. I have a lot to say, but I want you to know that I’m in this. I want us.”

  I squeezed his hand as my heart soared. “I want us too. I love you. I’ve missed you.” I motioned toward the book. “What’s that?”

  Rhys took a drink. “The night you dropped me off, I texted Caroline. Basically, I said, I don’t know that I can deal with the drama of Benji’s family. I’m not used to that type of family dynamic. We may have just broken up.” He shifted slightly to face me. “She was at my place within an hour thrusting this book into my hands. She said something along the lines of I’ve been selfish to keep this to myself all these years, but I realize now how badly you need it.”